As the photo above illustrates, I am feeling a little negative... Sometimes feelings are very difficult to put into words. Often it is our strongest feelings that are the most difficult to translate into a language that lets others experience what we are experiencing. I say this because I am discouraged today and a bit at a loss of how to explain why. After a week of school in-service, I am left feeling like an old, white woman, and evidently this is the least valued subgroup in the world of education. I know this was not the intent of the speakers I listened to during the past few days. I know I am a pretty good teacher and a kind person who strives daily not to discriminate against any minority. I know also that I have not reached every student in every class that I have ever taught. I am hoping that next week will lead to some strategies for curing my shortcomings.
I suppose you could say that psychologically I have been somewhat broken down and am ready to be rebuilt in the image of a super educator. After a weekend of rest, I will approach next week with an open mind and a willingness to do whatever it takes to be a better teacher. At least this is what I desire. And that’s an important step.
With regard to writing, as well as painting, sometimes desire is everything. The desire to create can become even more important than the message behind the creation. Sometimes when I really have the urge to paint, I am left not knowing quite what my subject should be. When this happens I usually build canvases and prep them. Though that is not a very creative process, it does usually free up my mind to think about what I want to put on the canvas when it is ready.
When I haven’t written in a while, I try to break the silence by writing in my journal or my blog. I also read a lot. And usually before I know it, I have connected with something and the words of a story or a poem just come. One of the best ways I know to get into writing is through found poetry. For those who have never tried this, a found poem is created by simply taking a text and using the words, phrases and even whole passages from it to create a new text. This is done by changing spacing, lines and meaning.
The poem below was “found” in a book titled The Land and People of Turkey by William Spencer, written in 1958.
IN THE UNIVERSAL FASHION
When the innermost sanctum is locked up,
a seeker must be satisfied
with a look at the walls.
Glimpsing houses packed tightly together,
we stroll down streets
where men greet each other warmly,
where they kiss on both cheeks,
where horns are forbidden,
and where women,
like old costumes,
follow suit
as children are brought forward
to kiss lightly the hands of the sultan.
No glass in the windows.
No gardens in yards.
But the desert blooms
and the peach tree clings
to a crag, a sort of blessing
where nothing is wasted.
In the universal fashion,
grown men walk the streets
holding hands, a curious custom
to those with no closeness.
But don’t tease them;
they are made and unmade
according to mood.
As elegant as a new slaughter,
they send up flares of believability
like naked light bulbs
offering the first rays of hope.
Heads, legs, backs, smooth skin—
it all sounds so romantic.
So let’s pick poppies
and be properly inspired,
like bricks set in plaster
at weird angles to the beam.
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