I can’t stop thinking today about how many forms of control impact our lives every second of every day. Bladder control, mind control, weight control, impulsivity control… just think about it; even when we are asleep at night, we control things like the temperature and the light and the firmness of our mattresses.
This train of thought began heading down my mental set of tracks this morning when I was straightening up the living room. As usual, when I picked up the remote control to fluff the sofa cushions, I placed it beside the TV so it would be easy for anyone to find later in the day. My husband once pointed out to me that this is a rather ridiculous place to leave the remote control because the whole purpose of the device is to be able to use it at a distance from the TV… The next time he says this, I may have to give him a brief history of the device. The first remote intended to control the TV was developed over 50 years ago. It was connected to the set by a wire and was called “Lazy Bones.” (The invention and development of the remote control actually changed television programming since viewers no longer stayed tuned in to programs simply because they didn’t want to get up to change the channel.)
It drives me crazy when David changes the channel right in the middle of a sentence! And I find it gratifying to discover that I am not alone in finding this to be an irritant. The Center for Media Literacy recently published an article titled “Home, Home on the Remote: Why Do Men Control the Clicker?” which thoroughly discusses sexual positioning and dominance within the typical American household. While this sounds admittedly tittilating, it actually deals with who decides which channel is watched and when. Anyway, it seems that the viewing dynamics of our family are pretty typical. David usually controls the remote because I watch TV while doing other things such as reading, blogging, cleaning… while he usually gives it his full attention and has little tolerance for things like commercials or down time of any sort. If the person speaking onscreen even looks like he or she is about to so much as take a breath, we are off to another channel, usually one that has been chosen for its value as a backup program. And though I may feel something akin to an infinitesimal cosmic shift each time I am unexpectedly carried along, I don’t care enough to do anything about it. For me TV is background noise.
This made me think about the degree of willingness with which I relinquish control in other areas of my life. In other words, am I a control freak? And I could honestly not find a definitive pattern. For example, I like to make my toast in the oven using the broiler setting instead of blindly trusting it to the electric toaster because it allows me to see what is going on during the cooking process and lets me jerk the perfectly browned bread out at just the right moment On the other hand, I don’t mind letting someone else scramble my eggs. (Again, this is not a euphemism for anything sexual…) I simply find it much more enjoyable to eat eggs when I don’t have to first examine them in their partly clear and partly yellow and totally slimy state. I also admit that I have an aversion to pain medication, preferring to think that I have the ability to mentally control my own level of discomfort. A little research in this direction lead me to a whole arena of gaming of which I was entirely unaware—brainwave toys. If you are curious, just go to: http://www.boingboing.net/2009/10/30/brainwave-toys-are-b.html and you will surely be astounded that there exists a game in which the player trains his or her thoughts to increase power to a fan which blows a ball through a course of hoops. (And see, I know I can’t trust you to go to this site on your own, so I have to go ahead and tell you about it.!)
About now you are probably starting to examine your own controlling tendencies. Do you use moisturizer each day to control dryness and wrinkles? Do you regularly try to control the curliness or straightness of your hair? Do you use eye drops to control redness? Or do you similarly try to control red eye in an electronic manner when taking photos?
If you, like I, are not certain where your own locus of control resides, there is a quiz online that will guide you toward the answer. Just go to: http://stress.about.com/od/selfknowledgeselftests/a/locus.htm and click on “Take this quiz.” I did. And discovered that I am a 90% control freak. (For those of you who already know you must always be in control, you will be delighted to find that you can even control the number of questions you are asked!)
Of course I was not really convinced that someone else could tell me I was controlling, and having to decide this on my own, I considered some of the other things we control on a daily basis.
As a teacher my life and my bladder are dependably guided by a schedule and a bell. Sometimes on the weekend I find myself forgetting that I can go to the bathroom any time I want to! If you, too, find yourself considering such matters, just go to: http://www.fairview.org/staywell/quiz_load.aspx?ContentTypeId=40&ContentId=UrinaryIncontinenceQuiz where you can take the urinary incontinence quiz. And don’t be deceived, the questions look easy, but I missed three! And if your New Years resolutions include a desire to lose weight, you will probably want to go to: http://www.afunzone.com/ATopic/Take_The_Weight_Loss_Quiz.htm so you can accurately determine how prepared you are to be successful. My female followers should also check out: http://www.blisstree.com/healthbolt/a-short-history-of-the-ideal-female-body/ In fact, if it doesn’t seem too controlling, I would like to suggest that my male readers also proceed to this website… And just so you won’t be disappointed that there is not a quiz associated with this page, go to: http://www.channelone.com/news/body_image/ to find out if you have a skewed view of yourself.
If you have made another common resolution, to control spending, you should go to: http://moneycentral.msn.com/quiz/savvy-spending-quiz/home.aspx , and if you are concerned about other forms of impulsivity control, go to: http://www.psych-net.com/test/impulse-test.html .
I will conclude my blog today with a poem, an apology, and one final link. The poem is titled “Manipulation Theory.” It was inspired by a toy I had as a young child that consisted of a plastic figure on a plastic base that could be controlled by pressing your thumb on the underside of the plastic pedestal. (It is admittedly filled with euphemism and innuendo…)
MANIPULATION THEORY
it would be easier
to induce hunkering if
just once, I were the giant, knowing
from having been shown
that magic thumb-button
and the most effective
syringe-like motion
if just once, I were
able to understand the relationship
between easy to operate elastic bands
and a breakable plastic housing
no prior knowledge of physics needed
perhaps a little field work
on falling bodies, because
buckling knees I know
and that automatic loss
of tension in the neck
that almost thrill
almost recovery
inevitable shift of weight
and loss of solids
as the oval earth beneath my feet
rocks without reason
The apology is for allowing this blog to go on so long today. Once I got started on this topic I just couldn’t control myself.
And finally, I want to share with you a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lutUDZ7Dq0s Don’t ask, just go there!
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