Revisionist History

David reminded me after my post yesterday, that I should have included this painting of my mother.  It is a large portrait, measuring about 44"x44".  My mixed media canvases often contain an almost subliminal visual and psychological subtext.  This sepia toned painting is titled “A Revisionist History of Glenda” is covered with vibrantly colored dots cut primarily from fashion magazines.  I did this in an attempt to “refashion” my mother’s morbidly unhappy life.  In order to fully understand and appreciate the portrait of my mother, one must become aware of our personal history.  I loved my mother dearly, but was also incredibly frustrated with her.  She was wonderfully intelligent, heartbreakingly beautiful and tragically flawed.  When I reflect back on her life, I can’t help but divide it into a series of abusive relationships and life threatening illnesses.  Seeing her struggle the way she did made a tremendous impact on me in that it fueled in me a resolve not to follow in her footsteps.  One day as I was foraging through a box of old family photographs, I came across a sepia toned photo of Mamma when she was about ten years old.  Even at that young age, there was already a tinge of sadness in her eyes.  The portrait hinted that she was somehow aware of the difficulties that would follow and that they were inevitable.  As I translated her face into an acrylic painting, keeping true to the brown tones of the original photo, I realized that part of my motivation for capturing her at that age was to catch her at a time when change was still possible for her and imaginable to her.  In an attempt to revise her history, I cut the dots for the surface from the glossy pages of fashion magazines.  In effect, I “refashioned” her.  As I worked the canvas, I saw each dot as a point of potential, almost like wormholes leading to alternate realities.